Dont know of an alterative to suicide. i don't know what to do. help

No one gives a fuck, man up.

did you go for the old testament/paul's letters Jesus (gay trans bad evil), or the one that had compassion for the whores and the disabled?

me

feel like i gave up on life when i was a kid and i've just been avoiding life and now i have to either die or do something

true

You are cherry picking. Did you read the whole bible? You must take both together to understand the entire picture. Why? Because for example a straight Christian who doesn't break the 10 commandments is still a sinner. Jesus shows us this in the sermon on the mount. We however are not saved by living perfectly to the sermon, we are saved by Jesus's sacrifice to cover our sin. So even if you repented of being gay, you still sin and thus still need Jesus to save you. My sins will still separate me from god, and I can never reach the point of being sinless in this life.

trans bad evil

The bible says nothing about trans. You might be thinking of the cultural law for the Israelites that men cannot wear women's clothes and vice versa. But if you read the new testament, you find out that non-jewish believers do not have to follow the cultural laws.
.>(gay bad evil)
This is a harder one to defend, but my first point explains my view. I am really trying to work on this one, because it is very clearly stated as sin.

If you began to believe in Jesus, began to be obedient to god, to love god, to serve him, to serve and loved people, and began to repent of sins, it would be a blessed thing. Even if you never go to the point of repenting of homosexuality, it would still be a improvement, their would still be a hope. You would still be sinning less.

Jesus show us that we are all sinners. Id have no hope to enter heaven if I had to get there without a sinless. I am not going to yell at someone to stop being a sinner, I am going to tell them about the person that can save them from the ramifications on their sin. Because they can convict me of deeper sins, that I lack faith, that I serve and love few people. That I give little away, that I sacrifice little of my life. That I can be selfish, and angry, and lie. That I am only barely serving god, the master of my life as I should.

You are cherry picking.

Obviously, I'm focusing on the disagreeable (to put it mildly) parts of some groups' interpretation.
The reason I asked is because I wanted to check if you're one of the rep4jesus types or the type that takes the good parts and e.g. doesn't want to burn the fags or somesuch

This is a harder one to defend, but my first point explains my view. I am really trying to work on this one, because it is very clearly stated as sin.

If I may offer one of my views on the matter, that would probably be deeply dissatisfying to you, but you never know:
- the lot less corrupt branch of the heeb cults got created around the time shit got too fucky in jerusalem & co or w/e, dun curr
- it still inherited a lot of the useful shit in there to keep a flock from imploding back into caveman shit - monogamy, incentives against adultery, minimizing the impact of infectious diseases, etc.
- that last one is also relevant, since butt stuff 2000 years ago, just as now, is a higher risk vector on account of the butt not having evolved the fortifications the vadge has for vigorous penis related activity
- with the slight difference that they didn't have as much healthcare back then, let alone prep and pep
- so, butt stuff = bad evil so we don't decimate the flock with syphilis or w/e. not to mention that man on man doesn't have the party pooper of (non-slutty) women to keep sexual activity in a pattern that doesn't spread STDeez too much
- thus, gay = evil, since thu gays (just as some are forced to nowadays) could still do "the right thing" for the flock, marry a woman, sire some kids and be a pillar of the community, contributing their masculine workforce and the additional life-force they create with the designated babymaker

but now that we have better healthcare and a few other things, as well as a more educated and self-disciplined (but not enough, ofc) populace, we can use more humane methods imo, otherwise it would be rather heartless to ask gays lesbos etc to sacrifice so much of their lives

Look I understand, but my point is that even if it isnt sin, said person still has other sins in their life.
So, you still need Jesus' sacrifice to cover those sins to restore relationship with god.
Pretty much everyone deserves hell, me included. You might as well say burn the Christians that don't live up the sermon on the mount.

did your parents never think to help

even if it isnt sin, said person still has other sins in their life.

So, you still need Jesus' sacrifice to cover those sins to restore relationship with god.

eh the guilt tripping to keep the plebs in check is not my jam, I prefer the more karma approach - I've sinned plenty, including against other people, I can at least tell them, apologize and so on, the sin will not go away, but I can at least work to be better in the future and ideally even do some good to those affected and their kin that, while not counteracting the sins, will hopefully be useful
and then I'll grow old, frail, possibly alone, die and become worm food and my consciousness and all my memories will perish a few minutes after my brain stops getting enough blood (or way earlier and possibly in a much more horrible way if I'm unlucky)

Pretty much everyone deserves hell

nah, it's exactly this bullshit that I have no patience for, and is pretty much the opposite of what Big J stands for in my mind

Well I agree with your approach. We fail, we have to try to be better.
Why does it matter if we sin?
When we hate someone, what we are really saying is "Hey god, see this person? You did a lousy job when you made them."
God made us to love all people, when we don't we are telling God to go mind his own business.

Why does it matter what we do? Well if all we have is this life, do what you want to do. Obviously its better to do good, but most of the good you do will be forgotten.

But if we are to live forever, and we continue to do what is wrong, well that will grow and the result will be something terrifying. If my selfishness grows at 1% a year, but I am to live forever, well after a few hundred years I am going to be a real devil.

Why does everyone deserve hell? Because we have all done what is wrong in this life. We all really arent as good and innocent as we might like to believe.

But dont give up hope, its not about people having to go to hell, but rather to wake us up to the fact that we arent doing as good as we should. To shake you up, to say hey, what you do in this life really matters. Stop doing what's wrong. We have all gone astray.

If their is an afterlife, then it only makes sense for us to live as best as we can now, because we have forever therefore to enjoy life. But right now theirs a lot of lost people, we need to be the light of the world so people can see again, to act better, to love one another.

I'm glad you find it agreeable. I understand your approach, and if that works for you, I'm very glad that you take it.
My take on what you've written, for my own personal guidance, is one that assumes I don't know if there's a god, fate, muses, afterlife, or none, and throws in the golden rule in there.
Here's what I use personally, in case some of it might be useful for someone else:

Why does it matter if we sin?

If I do *bad thing* to someone else, that would have a bad effect on them. I would like that to not happen to me, so I don't do it to others, since there's usually at least some level of reciprocity in our social monkey brain. I aim to balance that so I don't get taken advantage of beyond what I'm ok with, of course.

Why does it matter what we do? Well if all we have is this life, do what you want to do. Obviously its better to do good, but most of the good you do will be forgotten.

I like the butterfly effect route here - if I do a tiny bit of good, it might make someone's day just a bit better, they might be a bit more friendly with someone else, that someone might not be pushed over the edge later, and so on until a very wide area experiences a "better" outcome (which ofc is limited by exponential decay in time, space, amplitude of action and so on).
Even if eventually I and everything I did will be forgotten, that does not negate the possible benefits to me and those around me and those that might need just that little bit extra, both now, and in the future, and even for a while after my death in their memories.

Why does everyone deserve hell?

I don't need that part of the belief system, but horses for courses

Because we have all done what is wrong in this life.

Absolutely

We all really arent as good and innocent as we might like to believe.

Definitely that too. I have sinned, others have done things that have affected me badly too. But what I can do now is try to do less of the bad things, and less often.
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2/2
And do more of the good things, and more often. And many of those people did the best they could given the circumstances and information they had. And they too are human and I could try to put myself in their shoes and try to be their advocate.

But dont give up hope, its not about people having to go to hell, but rather to wake us up to the fact that we arent doing as good as we should. To shake you up, to say hey, what you do in this life really matters.

Yeah, I guess this is the disconnect. Some people (many more with the right approach) can get there without the threat of hell, and I prefer the less abusive approach when possible. Although naturally that doesn't work with everyone, and might be the less bad approach for the group and the individual in some cases, sadly.

Stop doing what's wrong.

We are however only human, so that can take time and we will falter. A strategy that is the most effective to minimize both the bad, as well as the suffering of the subject and object, is my preference. Starting with gentle nurturing compassion, and ramping up as needed.

We have all gone astray.

At one time or the other. And we all have the capacity to change, to do more good and more often, and less bad and less often.

If there is an afterlife, then it only makes sense for us to live as best as we can now, because we have forever therefore to enjoy life.

And even if there isn't, I still find a lot of reasons to do that

But right now there are a lot of lost people, we need to be the light of the world so people can see again, to act better, to love one another.

Amen.
Thank you for sharing this with me, anon.

Thank you for very much for your honesty, time and respect in talking to me and responding to what I have said.

We agree on the importance of doing Good, to think on the wrong we do, and to use that reflection to do better.

Yes, even if their is no afterlife it still matters to the world if we are good or not.

I guess on the disconnect, as it is the hardest part of the bible for me(hell).

Its not our good actions that can get us to heaven, because none of us are good enough people to get there (according to gods standard as shown in Jesus). We can be good in accords to societies standards, but not gods.

The bible wants to affirm that we have all fallen short of said standard, but that god understands and forgives us. While you might not need that moral absolution, many have done terrible things and wish they could take it back and be forgiven. But some things are so terrible that few could fix what they have done wrong and be able to turn there lives around. That is why it is important that they can find this forgiveness, and with the thankfulness they have received it by may do as we said and live better lives.

Why care about the afterlife? Because some of the greatest saints in this world, some of the people who's impact was the greatest in regards to service and love, have been those whos thoughts are the most fixed on heaven.
When we have this tremendous hope, it gives the power to be able to fully sacrifice our lives here, to the benefit of the world.

That combination, of forgiveness and the gift of eternal life, is a powerful tool that all who wish to become better people would be wise to seek.

it is the hardest part of the bible for me(hell).

I have a very close friend that was very, very badly affected by that rhetoric and some people that put terrible things into her head. It's another reason why I am vehemently against trusting the dogma unconditionally, as I have second-hand experience in how much damage it can do. I hope you can choose to adjust your personal belief system to whatever works best for you and those around you (without e.g. sacrificing your well-being for people that don't care for it).

many have done terrible things and wish they could take it back and be forgiven.

Yeah. Myself included, depending on how one views and values certain things.

But some things are so terrible that few could fix what they have done wrong and be able to turn [their] lives around. That is why it is important that they can find this forgiveness

I know I can not undo all the suffering I've caused to many, including the closest ones. In a way I am glad I hit rock bottom hard enough that I could begin rejecting all the self-blame (there was no other way out but the irreversible one). Because now instead of robbing them of their (only) child for nothing, I can turn a new leaf and hopefully make them a bit happier if I can fix my life somewhat, given the circumstances. Maybe even make it up a tiny bit to them someday. It's not impossible, for now at least.

Why care about the afterlife?

I like that perspective. For now I won't be following that path, as I still have hopes I can do something for myself and maybe even start a family and have children. All the while hopefully working on one of my side-dreams that may in turn help me, and others with my issues in the future (who knows). And if I reach a worse situation in the future, I can indeed try to fully sacrifice so that at least some good comes out of all this.
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That combination, of forgiveness and the gift of eternal life, is a powerful tool

Absolutely

that all who wish to become better people would be wise to seek.

Some maybe, I would not dare to say it would be the wisest decision for all. But this is merely my personal opinion, and everybody has their own.

Thank you for very much for your honesty, time and respect in talking to me and responding to what I have said.

Thank you for the same and much more, I really appreciate it, including you being more respectful to me despite me being rather disagreeable on some points.

I have a very close friend that was very, very badly affected by that rhetoric and some people that put terrible things into her head. It's another reason why I am vehemently against trusting the dogma unconditionally

Hey its caused me a lot of grief and torment too. How can I have the peace and joy the bible tells me I should have when it speaks of people going to hell? Even if I give every last drop of my life, their would still be many going to hell. So I would never have joy or peace knowing this. It has almost made me give up. I am beginning to think that Jesus' sacrifice is far more important then I understand, that >He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world”

All I can do till I come to understanding is to cling to the love of god, love him in return, and then use that love to be a better person. I haven't been able to fully sacrifice my life, it is very hard to do, only with god can it be achieved. Ive done much less then I wish I could get myself to do.

I still have hopes I can do something for myself and maybe even start a family and have children. All the while hopefully working on one of my side-dreams that may in turn help me, and others with my issues in the future (who knows). And if I reach a worse situation in the future, I can indeed try to fully sacrifice so that at least some good comes out of all this.

In the new testament we are allowed to have a family. Its a good thing to be married, but better not to be so we can more fully serve god. That's another place of struggle, I really want a family too! But I know it will mean I wont be able to serve god as much directly, but as stated it is still a good thing; but lesser. For example, it is good to live a holy married life, but it is much better to try to live a more devoted life. But a good partner can help some achieve more then they could do on there own.

Hey its caused me a lot of grief and torment too. How can I have the peace and joy the bible tells me I should have when it speaks of people going to hell? Even if I give every last drop of my life, their would still be many going to hell. So I would never have joy or peace knowing this. It has almost made me give up.

It's why I put my eggs in multiple baskets, one of them being "worm food 5 minutes later", other one being "hell is an effective control mechanism for some sects 2000 years ago".

I am beginning to think that Jesus' sacrifice is far more important then I understand, that >He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world”

Amen. Regardless if Big J exists or not, there are many that have sacrificed so much. And all we can do is try to be a bit better, a bit more loving, and be compassionate to others *and* ourselves. That is enough.

All I can do till I come to understanding is to cling to the love of god, love him in return, and then use that love to be a better person.

Exactly.

I haven't been able to fully sacrifice my life, it is very hard to do, only with god can it be achieved. Ive done much less then I wish I could get myself to do.

Full sacrifice is a possibility, but not a necessity in my view. Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves and our own lives, if we don't have others to do that, or to do that in a good enough way for us.
I hope you find a way to do the things you want to do, and find which ones you might want to do (even if that changes with time), and maybe even find others to help you with that.
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2/2

In the new testament we are allowed to have a family. Its a good thing to be married, but better not to be so we can more fully serve god. That's another place of struggle,

In my view, some might find it more fulfilling to more fully serve god, the community, scientific or artistic pursuits or anything else, compared to the partners they could start a family with. And that is a sacrifice we should honor greatly (if we can not help them have more choice, while still ultimately making it themselves)
But far from all.

I really want a family too! But I know it will mean I wont be able to serve god as much directly, but as stated it is still a good thing; but lesser. For example, it is good to live a holy married life, but it is much better to try to live a more devoted life. But a good partner can help some achieve more then they could do on there own.

I truly believe for many, having a family and a life partner, loving kids, and so on, can be so much better for themselves, and for the community. You may be one of those people. You can still try to sacrifice more to the non-family pursuits, but if I could, I would want to help you to find it ok to try the family thing too. It might truly make you more happy and fulfilled, and thus even more capable of doing more for the community, faith, art, science, world, or whatever you choose.
I really wish you happiness and fulfillment, anon. And that doesn't have to conflict with the well-being of those around you. I would be happier if I was your neighbor and you were happier. So would probably the butcher, the sweeper, the policeman, the local grannies, and who knows how many more people.

Wow, thank you for your very hopeful and kind message. I appreciate it, and really needed it.
Thank you as well for your insight and experience in these regards.
You've done much better to me then the poor excuses I have in trying to spread my message. I think I get lost when not focused solely on the love of Jesus.
I wish all the same to you!

I was in a similar situation.

Then I enlisted in the Postal Service.

It turned me into the girl boss that I am today.

You're welcome anon, and truly the pleasure was mine. I'm glad it helped, even if a bit.

You've done much better to me then the poor excuses I have in trying to spread my message.

On the contrary, you show that open-mindedness, kindness, respect and reaching out to the other that is such a rare thing, and so valuable in my view. People like you can help heal so much and so many out there. Believe me. This may be cringe, but I am tearing up thinking how someone may need exactly your kind and understanding words, and it may make all the difference to them.
Even if it's not about Christianity, or if it is, showing people understanding and soothing their pain (and being ok if it doesn't work out for them), can turn someone from pulling the trigger (I still remember that person that drove in the woods 6 years ago), or give them that tiny bit of hope that can spiral into a better future.

I think I get lost when not focused solely on the love of Jesus.

The love of Jesus, and the love we show as we guide ourselves to emulate that loving Jesus, may be the biggest power we have.
Thank you.

You've helped me a great deal. I have really only talked to a few people in my life about Christianity. This has been a good one, even as short it was I felt like I opened up a great deal to you about my fears and failures! That meant a lot to me. As well to speak to someone who has dealt with a friend who struggled with the doctrine of hell, I needed to talk about it greatly. You seem very understanding and caring. I Your encouragement is more then I deserve. We both care about what is good.
I would be glad if you wished to talk to me again. If you do, perhaps I could add your profile to some place? I don't have access to discord.

Then I enlisted in the Postal Service.

It turned me into the girl boss that I am today.

Vieo

you fucking hon

Oh I was able to make a discord

You've helped me a great deal. I have really only talked to a few people in my life about Christianity. This has been a good one, even as short it was I felt like I opened up a great deal to you about my fears and failures!

I'm really happy to hear that, I really like when those coincidences allow people to do something that rarely happens

That meant a lot to me.

It did to me too, funnily enough

As well to speak to someone who has dealt with a friend who struggled with the doctrine of hell, I needed to talk about it greatly.

Feel free to talk about it more t b h, it's through processing that we can find an approach that works better for us, in my opinion

You seem very understanding and caring.

I try to, although I have had, have, and will have plenty of moments where I'm the opposite. But we're only human, eh.

I Your encouragement is more then I deserve.

On the contrary, you deserve that and so much more, just as so many other people do. And think of it this way, if things allow you to be happier and more fulfilled, it's a lot more likely that you'll end up paying it forward too.

We both care about what is good.

And it can be as simple as feeling happy about others being happy. That really is a cheat code built into our social ape brain that we can use to make things so much better.

I would be glad if you wished to talk to me again. If you do, perhaps I could add your profile to some place?

Definitely, me too.

Oh I was able to make a discord

If you post it here, I'll send you a FR. It will end up on the Anon Babble archives, but I think you can change it on discord (either before you post it, or immediately after, or 3 times a day or something) in case you don't want others to be able to connect you to that profile in the future.

ast19000

Sent

NTA but I KNOW I can't work or go to college. I've got BPD or cptsd, or something trauma based that prevents me from making concrete decisions and plans that I can stick to.
If I apply for college, how do I know I even want to be there in a month? If I work somewhere, how will I be able to stay if it's not meeting my needs? Life sucks when you have no ability to follow through with plans for more than a week and need consistent breaks and accomodations that people find you annoying for.

ill tell u what u already know

nobody gives a fuck about you, the only person who can save you is yourself, if you have any dreams you should give up on them, not because you cant achieve them (you probably cant) but more because hope is your enemy, it gets in the way of your motivation and your ability to cope with the slog that life really is. many people have experiences like yours, its fine. just lock in

bullshit that I have no patience for

nta, but thought on the "everyone deserves hell" thing is that it is a philosophical exercise.
Heaven is oneness with God, which is perfection. Sin is the stumbling/distraction/missing the mark that keeps us from getting closer to that oneness.
Hell is stagnation. So we are not condemned to hell by God but by our own failure to keep striving.
I want to second this for OP. Community college gets a bad rap sometimes, but that's mostly from people trying to feel superior about going into debt. It's a much more affordable way to test the waters of a lot of different paths, whether they're more academic or professional.
Plus the student body tends to be a bit more diverse as far as age and experience go.
Plus the campus culture is much less of a presence, so if you're not feeling like being super social, just don't seek it out.

what's ur height and weight? when u think of ur ideal partner, what person flashes into mind first: a male or female? also, whats ur ethnicity

answer this question OP