Just get off the drugs and alcohol and give yourself time to hurt and struggle, whenever you’re ready, then go share what you’ve got with someone who will care for you. It’s all there is.
I've had plenty of time, I am exactly where I want to be. I want to be a lazy, bad person who just leeches, it's all I really care about doing. It is my character. If I didn't want it, I wouldn't be doing it.