To those who transitioned after 25, how are you holding up? I need advice

Question

To those who transitioned after 25, how are you holding up? I need advice

I'm 27, turning 28 in a couple of months. I realized I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin at a young age, around 12, but I had no knowledge of HRT until I went to college. When I was 19, I was verryyy close to starting but I was in a committed relationship with a girl at the time and she was all I had. Being alone and possibly kinda ugly/freakish scared the fuck out of me so I just repped really hard and have been since. Eventually we broke up a little before I graduated and I have not been in any relationships since then.

For the past two years, I have been battling with myself over whether or not to go through with this. I've tried and tried to "be a man" and find a life-partner, but something just doesn't feel like it's clicking anymore. Most women don't want an effeminate man who is soft and submissive. I have gone on countless dates with attractive women but I can't shake this feeling. For the most part, now, I've just been watching porn and doing solo stuff. It helps me feel comfortable with myself but I'm still so fucking lonely.

I'm not sure what to do anymore. I've been stuck in this limbo for way too long now and am clearly at a cross-roads. Part of me feels like it would suit me well, as I have a fairly small frame, a small amount of body and facial hair, and bigger hips than most men. But on the other hand, I do have some masc features, like forehead creases and a big Adam's apple. Face-App seems promising with some photos, but I look like a trainwreck in others.

1/2

Apart from looks though, I'm just worried about how others will perceive me. My family is extremely conservative and I have no idea how they'd react. Some of my friends would accept me, and some may not.

I feel so lost. And stuck. And I can't seem to think or process anything else. Can anyone recommend some good reading resources perhaps? Or can you share any stories from your own experience? I'm starting to feel slightly suicidal because I've been alone for so long and I feel like I need something to give me hope.

2/2

idk my dysphoria is better i guess. the only time it really feels bad is when im around someone who knows im supposed to be a tr*nny.

Started at 27, am 29 now, just had 2 year tranniversary

I'm doing ok. I'm starting to pass consistently after full-time girlmoding for the last 2 months. Just yesterday a guy let me cut in front of him in line and say "You go ahead, miss." So I'm finally getting a bit of female privilege.

I've lost a ton of weight, embarrassed myself a lot in public with bad clothes and bad makeup, but now I'm slowly reaching a point where I'm a lot more confident in my appearance and in my womanhood. I'm coming out to my coworkers despite having been obviously failing as the office tranny for the last year lol, but it's fine. I think learning to cope with the most cringe shit imaginable as a gigahon that can happen is important to learning how little imperfections matter less than large, consistent changes.

I think being visibly trans just makes people have a polarized reaction to me. A lot of people really seem to care about me at my job, which sadly is really the only place I socialize cuz who wants to be a gross hon in public, so I personally don't feel like they perceive me as anything less than who I am. My family hates me though and I never tried to fight their accusations or insults.

As far as the general public goes, it's hit or miss. Little kids aren't afraid of me, which makes me feel infinitely better about myself because at least they don't think I look like a monster, but people can tell that I'm trans by looking at me so adults will either keep glancing at me or outright stare if they have a problem with trans women. However, I get miss and ma'am a lot, which could just be pity, but I count it as passing.

The girl thoughts only get stronger, and you start losing the energy to repress like you could when you were younger. I'm sorry to even say this but that's the origin of "transition or die" because so many can't handle long term repping (or it twists them so much they may as well be dead).

I'm older and wish I did it at your age. If your family ends up hating you then they hate you, love is not conditional and lying to them even longer won't change that fact. Same with friends (the ones who leave were never your friends).

You have one chance at existence. Don't waste it seeking external validation from people who didn't matter. Go out and find your tribe. My only regret was not starting at your age.

just be a feminine man

I'm not reading all that do whatever you want, dress however you like, men are allowed to be girly, just don't try to "pass" as something you're not (female) to demand things from strangers or you'll establish yourself as a self obsessed freak who's out of touch with your surroundings

Was face-app accurate for any of you?

See, funny, I tried that for years and was very unsuccessful with finding women. It wasn't until I cut my hair short that I could start attracting others. But I'm also attracted to men. And I'd feel a lot more comfortable with one if chose to do this. I'm not sure anymore, anon

Are you stating this as a femme man or are you trans?

Was face-app accurate for any of you?

I mean yeah, after I started HRT. I crossdressed and thought I looked feminine, but I was a cringe, overweight loser so I definitely didn't. My pre-trans photos are a legit overweight incel.

the first year or so was utterly terrifying because I knew I looked like a man on HRT and it made me depressed and neurotic despite estrogen literally making me happier. it took a lot of self-improvement to get to where I'm at right now and I really don't think there was any way to predict that I'd actually look like a woman from some angles.

I used AI tools for a while and it made me really upset because if AI thinks you're male, it will make you EXTREMELY male and that is just utterly triggering. ChatGPT is super good at making suifuel. My advice is don't waste your time with AI. The trans thoughts didn't go away just because I thought it was over

It's a Anon Babbletard being a whiny fucking bitch because them being told to put their meme ideology aside and use correct pronouns is too damn much for their glass egos to handle. The "demand things from strangers" literally just means "being told to treat trans people with basic human decency". Ignore them.

what genitals and Twitter info do you have? I need to make assumptions about your labels before I use my brain or consider views beyond my own

Because trans people only want pronouns, they'd never invade cis spaces and demand a spotlight and validation lmao, anyone who criticizes them uses pol and is probably evil

Sorry to dismiss your feelings, but that literally doesn't matter. If you're not privileged enough to afford FFS then the BEST thing you could do to give yourself every chance is to STOP WAITING UNTIL YOU'RE EVEN OLDER to transition.

invade cis spaces

What weird ass gender-apartheid larp are you mentally living in? This is so weird.

Never heard of the eternal bathroom debate or hons in clown makeup going to women's support groups? Things still exist even if you choose to be ignorant. That's how the trans community got so bad i think, they ignored and hid the worst parts instead of fixing it and now it's a million times worse and can't be hidden anymore

That's fair. I'm just scared of being more alone than I already am. But I appreciate your input.

Put on a dress and hop on discord, lots of servers there to join the "girl cock" circle jerk, since only trannies accept trannies

just be a feminine man

You COULD be fighting for a world where people can freely express themselves like that, but you chose to make new gender roles to force onto people just like the cis overlords you're so obsessed with. Trannies are the most sexist demanding types around, and they'll hurt you if you don't conform to their identity laws. It's a shame gender freaks never allowed people to freely express gendered styles without being slapped with labels and expectations, feminine men and masculine women are around, they're just forced into hiding to avoid being associated with tranny politics

you can get away with being a twinkhon as long as you voice train and have no facial hair. i started at 26 and people clock me but ive never been kicked out of any bathroom except the men's room in the 4 yrs of being transed.

i don't buy the argument that women dont like a feminine man. dating as a t girl fucking sucks so bad unless you just like being raped and discarded by both genders. queer presenting men are in demand while trans women are not desired at all even though everyone wants to come off as your #1 ally.

eternal bathroom debate

Oh, you mean the completely manufactured corporate media talking point that only exists to distract lead poisoned boomers from their deteriorating material conditions? What a good dog you are screeching about women using the bathroom and not talking about the billionaire class robbing the world blind. Hopefully OP lives in a civilized state/country where there's basic protections for marginalized people against trash like you.

women in women's spaces is... le bad!

If you could vaguepost any harder I'd almost like to see it.

but you chose to make new gender roles to force onto people

Retreating into schizophrenia isn't an argument. You can stop ignoring the gala in Mesopotamia, the hijras in India, two-spirit Native Americans, the "berdache" in Europe, the kathoey in Thailand, the waria in Indonesia, and more if you'd like to actually engage with reality.

Women being uncomfortable doesn't matter because I read about more dramatic unrelated shit on social media

This is why women hate you people, you always dodge reality. Men are not women. Stay out of women's spaces. If you accepted yourself as trans and not """women""" maybe the world wouldn't hate you and the way you intrude upon other people. And yes, plenty of gender expressions have existed forever, and it's been fine until now when fat old men want to be treated like """cis girls""" because they dressed up and act sexist and dumb like the girls in the porn or anime they watch all day

hellish truth nuke

aside from being crippled im ok and just got married this year (38/28)

i started at ~34

if you had a weak puberty you have a chance, if it was strong you will have a much harder time

stop being a coomer gooner if you really want to be happy

you can just take hrt and boymode for now. thats what i did at 27, it doesn't have to big this huge decision right away. thats what scared me for a long time thinking it was black and white (transition fully/repress). its not like that.

Crippled? In what way? But thank you. You are right. And I appreciate your input. Congrats on getting married btw, that must be awesome

Perhaps, yeah. Not a bad idea. Thank you anon

Has that really been your whole dating experience, anon? :(

those who transitioned after 25, how are you holding up?

I'm 7 months hrt now and still manmoding, also never been more depressed, I think about detransitioning a lot

I started when i was almost 26, i'm 28 now.
its bad generally. theres moments of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but im constantly brought back into depression about lost time and the wasted years.

i'm realizing that i still "feel" 18, but i'm now in a way older body. my brain isn't catching up to my age. theres becoming a lag between my personality and the shell i inhibit. is this how 60 year olds feel? do they still feel 20 inside? i'm not ready to age yet. i wanted to experience my life as a woman before i felt this. its existential, and brutal

I came out at 28
Started hormones at 31 basically and I'm 33 now
I don't pass yet but I do mail fail occasionally
I lost most of my old friends from before then

It's been tough but I made the right choice, especially given how horrible me mid twenties were feeling to me. I've come a long way since then, my hair has grown back, I got boobs and a bit of a butt and I'm changing all my documents now. I'd say it was 100% worth it for me and while I did lose some family and most of my old friends it was worth it. I'm now even tighter with the family that stuck by me and I've made a whole group of new friends.

No one knows at my job or at least no one acknowledges it because I boymode. Outside of that I mostly live androgynously to femme outside of work and I don't really run into any problems.

Hope you make a decision soon anon because I know how tough it can be to choose what feels like a leap of faith.

This is almost literally me except now I'm 30. I've been telling myself to just start on HRT asap for the past 3+ months but I'm still scared to take that leap. I feel like I'd just manmode but I'm also worried that I'm gonna start looking too feminine because I've been told multiple times I still look like a teenager or a twink. Also worried about being some weird dude with tits.

I'm sorry to hear that :( Are the bodily changes not what you hoped? I wish you well, anon.

I hear you. I also feel a very similar way. I don't feel older but I do feel a bit wiser at least. It's been a very hard past few years for me but I've come out a little stronger, at least.

Try not to worry so much about "wasted time" if you can, though I know that's easier said than done. To me it seems like you're on the right path towards happiness. You're very cute and passable. I wish you the best.

Is there anything stopping you other than fear? I'm almost tempted to just try it but I know some of the changes can set in very fast. It's equally scary as it is intriguing.

I'd say primarily fear. I'm in a good financial situation rn and have plenty of savings to pay for surgeries I'd want/need. As far as family and friends most on my dad's side wouldn't like it but I probably won't see them much at this point anyway. My mom's side would almost certainly be accepting. With friends I know there's a couple that I'd almost certainly lose but I won't be seeing them much either way now for different reasons. There's also still part of me that wants to have biological kids. It's not something I've always wanted for sure and I know I could adopt or something but the more heavily I consider trooning then I know that's something I'd have to sacrifice.

I just know I've had these tranny thoughts pretty much since I was a kid and I've been able to cope with them up until now and even went to therapy for a bit but I feel like I need to at least try HRT before I end up becoming John 50.

Same same same. I hear you with the biological kids part too. Good luck, anon.

been told multiple times I still look like a teenager or a twink

Anon you hit the fucking lottery, start HRT immediately and you can actually make it

it is

she's sleeping next to me rn and she just booked us a transatlantic crossing on Queen Mary 2 for next year... assuming my health will be ok

picrel outlines my health issues reasonably well

Good luck to you too anon!

Nah, hitting the lottery would be being born a normalfaggot and not having to deal with tranny shit. Besides having a decent starting point doesn't mean you'll end up making it.

Tbh, another thing that's holding me back is that I still to some extent identify with my masculinity. Granted these past few months I've sort of felt like my whole identity has been breaking down and I'm struggling to figure out how much of my masculine personality is genuine and how much has just been cope.

i know you mean well but that kind of stuff always feels a little condescending. i'm a different person who started hormones this year at 29, i basically get told i'm a luckshit often because i'm still a short twink but i've never felt lucky. like i still missed out on the window for hip growth and stuff so that + worsening social acceptance means my plan is just permaboymoding as a weird gay guy.