I want to look like a girl. But I don't act like one, I'm lazy, and don't want people to think I'm weird and crazy...

I want to look like a girl. But I don't act like one, I'm lazy, and don't want people to think I'm weird and crazy. I think I would be fine being a guy, but I feel pretty apathetic about life.

I think most of my friends would be shocked if they knew I was "trans." Most people just assume I'm some sad cis straight guy I think. Still not even entirely sure if I'm trans. Maybe I'm just a femboy or crazy or something. Well I am kinda crazy but whatever.

Not sure if estrogen would really fix me though. I feel pretty lonely probably because I'm depressed and isolate myself from other people. I don't feel close to anyone, and find the stuff most people talk about so boring most of the time.

Anyway, most of my friends are guys and find it easier to get along with men in general. And there's nothing "feminine" about my personality. I don't have any feminine hobbies, I'm not very friendly, I get into arguments with people all the time, and my hygiene isn't always the best.

My hair's kinda like the girl's in the picture except a bit curlier and always a mess. But I have fairly masculine face :(

If I could magically turn into a cute girl I would be so happy.

Maybe I could pass if I took hrt even though I'm 22. I'm 5'5 and have a relatively high pitched voice for a guy. Sometimes I get ma'amed on the phone. But maybe I would look like some freak. I don't know how to do makeup and I'm probably too lazy and incompetent to learn how to do it well. Also, I have really strong mental blocks to fit in and putting make up on feels like something I'm not supposed to do.

I'm scared to get boobs. If I ever detrans or I just don't pass very well, it would probably suck to be a guy with boobs. If I were to transition and start to be comfortable being a woman or not guy or whatever, I suspect I would actually want to have boobs though.

tldr

OP is malebrained and experiences no social dysphoria, only body dysphoria kind of but he’s scared to get boobs because if he fails his transition then he’s just gonna go back to being male and he thinks it’d be awkward to have boobs as a male.
I think that’s what’s going on, I just kinda skimmed over it.

Post your pic and we'll tell you if you can pass

if you're not sure if you're trans you need to take some time to think it over, join communities online where you can experiment with a woman's name and being referred to as a girl and see how it feels, try on women's clothing, ask a friend that knows makeup to do it on you if you have any that aren't judgmental about this. estrogen won't fix all your problems but it may give you a better sense of self and that can give the motivation to fix your problems. it's a bad time to be trans rn so i recommend not rushing a decision that you may regret in the future

Yet another expert in mental gymnastic trying to justify wanting to transition sex but not wanting the icky label tranny because their only exposure to trannies have been right wing propaganda and college gollum models.

OP needs to stop being a faggot and talk to a therapist.

why does the idea of a man with boobs offend you so much?

girl most cis girl queers dont have fem hobbies your fine really. Just because you dont experience social dysphoria doesnt mean you dont experience dysphoria.

If you really want you can just start taking spiro to a tleast stop the masculation and decide what you want to do from there or hell even go on e for a month to see if you like the really early stage changes. boobs take a bit. Im 5ish months in on max dose rn with ab 3+ months of spiro before that as base and i dont even have a cups.

Because this isn't my first clown rodeo on this website and I don't have patience for babytrannies lashing out their insecurity at other babytrannies for the fact they both look like babytrannies.

Grown men btw

I think that’s what’s going on, I just kinda skimmed over it.

Yeah, that's pretty accurate. When it comes to dating, socially I think there would be gender stuff that would matter to me. I don't want to be treated as a guy or expected to act in a masculine way by whoever I date. The only sex I've had, which was with a transfem, felt kinda sapphic —there was no penetration for example.

take some time to think it over

I've been thinking about this for literally over a year. And the first time I questioned my gender was years ago. I'm kinda a coward and haven't really experimented very much. I have told a few of my friends that I'm trans, the ones that are queer or seem get along well with queer people. I even told my mom.

My situation is just pretty different from most trans people's. In addition to not having much/any social dysphoria, the physical dysphoria I have is mostly just about my face and body hair. Maybe I'm AGP or something —not that I actually believe AGP is a real thing. I didn't have that many signs in my childhood, but throughout my entire life I've had a strong preference for long hair. It's really silly but having hair in my face gives me gender euphoria.

I'm okay with my name. It sounds kinda masculine, but it's a very uncommon name. Although, there is a feminine version of my name that I might slightly prefer. I don't really want to wear women's clothing if my face doesn't pass. I've looked like a straight cis guy my entire life and I don't want to look queer.

better sense of self and that can give the motivation to fix your problems

Yeah. I do want to look like a girl. I suppose I really want to be able to perceive myself as a girl.

not a good time to be trans

Yeah.... Though, I live in a good state and city.

honestly you sound trans to me from reading this, it's fine if you mainly feel dysphoria about your face, i didn't have much dysphoria about my body either except for height, but you're 5'5 so you're fine in that regard. you don't sound agp, but regardless i recommend growing out your hair and shaving body hair / even getting laser hair removal if you can afford it. those are things that'd clearly make you happier. if you're not ready for estrogen you can try testosterone blockers like the other poster said, but don't do just testosterone blockers for too long though your body needs a hormone (either testosterone or estrogen) in it or it can lead to potential bone loss. you won't see much change in face with estrogen at the age you're starting, there will be some fat redistribution but generally you'll need facial feminization surgery to get a more feminine face

another expert in mental gymnastic trying to justify wanting to transition sex but not wanting the icky label tranny

This isn't totally off base. You're right that I don't want other people to see me as a tranny. And maybe I also don't want to see myself as a tranny.

their only exposure to trannies have been right wing propaganda and college gollum models.

Not true. But right wing propaganda maybe has given me brain worms. Or maybe just the pervasive trans/queerphobia in society did that.

unfortunately many such cases

i only accepted the fact i was trans when i lost every friend i ever had from a rumor and had no dignity left to care about. I will say though since then being trans sucks but it is also really freeing in a lot of ways that make me happy i did it. Wouldnt go back to being an egg or repper if i was at gunpoint. im firm in death before detrans.

growing out your hair and shaving body hair / even getting laser hair removal

I've been growing out my hair. I have pretty curly hair though and I don't really know how to make it look good though —I really wish I did.

I should get laser hair removal. I know it will make me happy.

you won't see much change in face with estrogen at the age you're starting

This is the thing that really worries me. I don't want to have the body of a girl but the face of a guy — I think that would make me really dysphoric or have lots of brain worms or something. At least I feel kinda meh about my current body and don't actively hate it.

My therapist said my face doesn't look as masculine as I think it looks, but I'm not sure I believe her. I definitely have some feminine facial features, but also some really masculine ones. I think my face is fairly conventionally attractive for a guy.

I suppose I could get fss but surgery is scary —what if they fuck it up and I look like a monster or something.

ffs lol

Top tip

Stop worrying about what others will think of you. You can always find new friends. If you have a realistic plan you can pretty much go from cis male to passoid in 5 to 10 years and then for the rest of your life you get to play the game on New Game +. It is a long term investment, as long as you go into it with that mindset, and aren't like 6'5 or have linebacker shoulders you'll be fine.

Yeah when you first troon out, expect to lose friends and face harassment. However some people might surprise you and those will be your friends for life.

It will take time but trust me eventually you'll be able to find new friends while looking female, your old friends will be able to see the change in better for you and the people who abandoned you? Well mogging their wives in public is always fun.

Oh and getting rid of dysphoria is pretty great.

thats the risk you have with all surgeries, that something can get fucked up. my dysphoria is worse than the concern of surgery complications though, so i will still get it. just make sure you pick a good surgeon

Get over yourself. You sound like someone who'd unironically self-identify as a "trans elder"

Reddit is a few clicks away hugboxxer.

You can always find new friends.

Not true

You are the one hugboxing op here hon

Due to circumstances in life I've been forced to move around a lot. Trust me it's doable.

Sorry Trips Trump whatever you can say get better digits faggot.

based newfag

I SAID NOT TEHREFORE NO

I have pretty curly hair though and I don't really know how to make it look good though —I really wish I did.

I am also learning to deal with curls, I have got shampoo, conditioner and cream that are specifically for curls on the label. You rinse hair, shampoo, apply conditioner from mid length to tip (getting on scalp might make hair too greasy), you leave it in, do other stuff, then rinse off conditioner, finish shower and put on hair cream to make it resistent to wind.
I've gone from frizzy, puffy mess to actually being really happy about curls sometimes (they are still a hassle tho).

ive been taking estrogen for years and never wore makeup, i have boobs now that dont feel weird to me but i feel weird being in public in a shirt with them. i wouldnt say it fixed a lot of the social issues you write about but it helps me feel like a person and im more bubbly since im looking like this. i would recommend hrt, you dont have to follow any prescribed path and also i dont get weird looks or backlash in daily life

I'm at a similar place to you Nona. I'm fairly typical for a man but I feel distress over not being pretty like a woman. I decided to start taking HRT about a month ago and experimented with using a woman's name. I'm going to see how things go and whether I like how my body changes.

I'm like the same with like being faketrans no signs malebrained male friends nobody will believe me, except without being like 5'5 with a good voice. None of my friends believe I'm trans and desu I don't even care at this point I'm just gonna get hrt anyway because i hate my body. If you are scared of tits idk most trannies get barely any anyway you'd be able to deal with it I'd say idk. I am going to try stop being lazy despite the fact that i really like idk I don't enjoy fashion stuff for example but i have to learn so I don't dress like a moid freak idk

im scared to get boobs

look at it this way, actually quite a lot of people want some kind of surgery, whether thats facial surgery, getting their teeth fixed, getting their hairline fixed or whatever

think of all the men who get hair transplants, it costs like 10k for a decent one and even then they fail half the time, gyno surgery costs half that or less in some places and is very simple.

would you rather detrans and spend a little bit to remove some booba in 5 years or have a mental breakdown over hair loss and spend triple that to get terrible hair transplant instead?

dont worry too much about things going perfect, just make the best choice you can now, trust your gut.

I relate to this strongly. I questioned originally when I was 17, shut it out, been stuck thinking about it for over a year. I’m 23 now and terrified of regretting transitioning. FWIW I don’t have enough of a social life so I’m probably just coping for something. That being said there are lots of things about being a girl I WOULD enjoy…

Trans youtuber called ceicocat. She's 34 in that picture. I think she also started transitioning in her early 20s.

thank you. tho I won't look them up, already self conscious enough about all the acne scars I got left with

FWIW I don’t have enough of a social life so I’m probably just coping for something. That being said there are lots of things about being a girl I WOULD enjoy…

Also relate a lot to your feelings about this. I do kinda have a social life, but I suck at actually making an effort to see my friends a lot of the time and I feel pretty lonely regardless.

Most people just assume I'm some sad cis straight guy I think. Still not even entirely sure if I'm trans. Maybe I'm just a femboy or crazy or something. Well I am kinda crazy but whatever

so why exactly do you jump to being trans?????? it's like there's 3 balls in a bag all with a unique colour. you pick 2 and are able to rule out green and purple, then jump to the conclusion that the next MUST be red because the person next to you pulled a red one out of their bag, even though there are 100 unique colours in this little game. i don't get why you guys just jump to thinking being trans is the answer to everything

so why exactly do you jump to being trans?

The fact that I really want to look like a girl and don't like looking like a guy? Transitioning probably won't fix most of my problems though.

Even if I'm not technically trans and am a femboy or something, I want hrt and maybe also ffs. I'm pretty sure looking like a girl would make me happier, and make it easier to find people to date.

being trans makes it HARDER to find people to date, pretty much your only choices are t4t unless you manage to pass

being or wanting to be a femboy doesn't make you trans, the same way a tomboy isn't trans, you're just leaning into it because that's conclusion a lot people are swayed towards nowadays. sad!!

being trans makes it HARDER to find people to date

*being* trans does that —not transitioning. Like sure there's a lot of people who would be interested in dating someone with my current body, but they wouldn't want to date *me* and I wouldn't want to date them.

Everyone I've been in a relationship with or had a chance at being in a relationship with has been bi/pan, and there's probably a good reason for that.

And now that I know there's a large probability I'll want to transition, that's probably something people I date would like to know which would put them off from dating me.

your only choices are t4t unless you manage to pass

I haven't had a crush on a person who wasn't trans or didn't end up coming out as trans in over four years.

being or wanting to be a femboy doesn't make you trans, the same way a tomboy isn't trans, you're just leaning into it because that's conclusion a lot people are swayed towards nowadays. sad!!

Okay, maybe the label trans doesn't fit under some definitions? Why does that matter at all? Even if I'm not trans under whatever definition you're using, I still would benefit from hrt and stuff.