I used to be a man but now I have no balls, I have perky yet full breasts with pierced nipples, a surgically modified face and all my body hair lasered off. My sex life consists 100% of being penetrayed by men and I haven't been with a girl in about 10 years.
What the fuck happened to me? I was successfully repressing well into my 20s. What broke me?
time, anon. time broke you
What do you think broke you?
You're living my dream.
I honestly think it was exposure to female kpop groups from a young age, as well as other hyperfemme queer positive western pop music, as well as anime. due to my autism I tend to hyperfocus on things and enjoy repeated stylized gestures, I also tend to latch on to rigid perscribed roles as a social crutch.
I also think social media played a role, since women are able to constantly post filtered airbrushed and staged photos emphasizing their most beautiful and sensual feminine qualities. There's just nothing in male culture that compares. Overtime my male identity was overwritten. Deciding to finally give in and have sex with a man was just the beginning of the end, as I knew I only wanted to have heterosexual sex + marriage and at that point the only way to get it was by taking on the female role. I never had male friends growing up so my first close exposure to men was in a sexual and romantic context and it's hard to keep feeling masculine after that.
Oh my... I thought you might know the reason. Do you have a plan to get back what you want?
I do all this with zero surgery. Piercing nips is stupid btw.
My plan is to get sex reassignment because I really truly don't think i could go back. I've mentally and physically forgotten what it's like to feel like a man. I've slept with probably like a dozen guys and had multiple boyfriends and am literally castrated, trying to go back would be genuinely awful. Not to mention all the social stuff.
It's not stupid at all it stimulates nipple growth and looks really hot.
The social stuff is the worse. I don't think you are ready for all that. The opening gave a feeling that you are suffering