Everyone is going to assume this is bait but I figured it's worth asking

Are you illiterate? Or is it ADHD?

get a boywife. that's what I did and it's great.

Make a grindr profile, explain that you’re recently out or curious and what you’re looking for.

Bottoms will flock to you they want that virgin top dick. Also gay culture is very sex centric so he’s gonna want you to put it in.

If you're autistic then my number 1 tip is to get with a fellow autist, no matter the gender. Sharing interests is nice, but when your fundamental world views and core experiences in life differ so much, then it doesn't matter.

My dad's a fellow 'tist, and he's tried and failed to make it with half a dozen partners over the last 2 decades, and for all of them, eventually the differences in handling and expression of emotions and general thinking became too much, and the relationships imploded

I'm honestly not even sure what you're asking, do you wanna collect Warhammer models?

This is such a typical experience, it's a very vanilla experience. Men and women have such vastly different upbringings that it's almost impossible to be ever relate on most things. Bicuriousity is fine and all and if you want to indulge it, go for it, but ultimately that's a very typical straight guy experience

Let me give you an example: My first gf had an IQ almost a full standard deviation higher than my own. But she was dumb as fuck. All she wanted to do was watch TikTok and read celebrity gossip on instagram.
She didn't understand my fascination with technical stuff nor my school stuff on international affairs and conflict

A lot of gay guys are going to be similar to her. You’re looking for something very specific. I hope you find it and get to try but you may have to concede and meet in the middle on using free time.

Yeah this is literally just you coping with what women are like. Other men don't like, jive with their social media firehose drinking and their mutual backbiting better than you do, neurotypical men don't join their bitches scrolling Tiktok. They just accept that this is how a pussy delivery system works and judge the experience based on how much pussy is delivered and how much of a hassle it is to collect it.

Why is /tttt/ full of weird repressing "straight" guys trying to grooming other fags into repressing amd getting into loveless marriages

I’m a gay top and I want OP to get some nerdy guy hole. Women suck desu.

So the stereotype of autistic gay men being extremely smart was just a stereotype?

They just accept that this is how a pussy delivery system works and judge the experience based on how much pussy is delivered and how much of a hassle it is to collect it.

nta but it sounds wrong

Where the fuck are you seeing this? A bunch of people agreeing that this is probably just normal straight guy things isn't encouraging loveless marriages. Not every single person is queer and it's okay to give people who are questioning some opinions.

Fuck a twink, if you like it, then what ever, if not then what ever, you learned

I wouldn’t know I’ve never connected with one. I would but I’m not sure how easy it is to find them. It won’t be on grindr. I’d say tindr but I’ve never used it because I don’t like milquetoast reddit types.

I'd make your life worth living.

I that that was your naked legs and penis from the thumbnail.

Date troons?

I'm bicurious, I didn't say I was attracted to trannies.

Bottoms will flock to you they want that virgin top dick.

I like guys who have never fucked any guy before, but not if they also haven't fucked any women either lol

Wrong in what way? Morally or factually?

Can't you just find a dorky asian girl in your PhD program like the rest of us?

Funny you mention that. The only women who's like that is the one who will probably supervise my dissertation defense. She's in her 40s and still very much a woman at the end of the day

So, bi guys who have had sex with women before, but no men?

This is almost my exact story op. I learned i didn't get along with or understand women after 27 years of pining for them but being too ugly for them to approach me, looksmaxxing and being more successful than ever to the point where they approached me, and hating every second i spent with them because i felt like a skinwalker and couldn't actually be myself.

I dated a twink instead and gave into my bicurious side, I'm happier than I've ever been, i make more money, and i have a nice quiet life. Go for it, it's brighter on the other side.

lol

OP the reality is you'll never really be able to relate to cis women since they're almost entirely a different species. Learning to accept that is like the first step in dating. You aren't doomed, maybe try dating a tranny or something.

I am not drawn to trannies.

Welcome to reality. It gets boring and it can be a lonely road. Women don't share my niche technical interests and I don't expect them to. You'll find that gays and trannies are equally dull as well. You have to either date someone for the sake of dating which is what most people do or learn to compartmentalize yourself and have interactions within controlled confines that you define. Presenting that side of yourself gets tiring after a while. There's no cheat code to this.

Cis man and chaser here.

I'm in my late 20s now and I'm running into the realization that I do not mesh well with women. I'm on the spectrum with niche interests (working on my PhD) and I have nothing in common with girls my age. Women don't understand me and I don't understand them, and this is after dating in HS and college.

If you're a man you're not SUPPOSED to relate to women in the same way or to the same degree that you'd relate to another dude.
Men and women are DIFFERENT, and that's okay.

At the same time, I have a small circle of close guy friends I have more meaningful interactions with in a day than I've had with women since 2019.

No shit. They're your FRIENDS. You're not supposed to share the same things or have the same kinds of interactions you've with your male friends than those you can have with women (biological or trans).
E.g. You can shoot the shit and say pretty much ANYTHING among your buddies because you all share a setting/social framework (Platonic friendship + Man space) where you can express yourself and talk about your most autistic and socially unpopular hobbies knowing it won't make you look bad.
If your friends were gay and you were dating some of them, PART of that platonic intimacy/trust within the group would be lost, because the sexual factor would enter the equation and MODIFY how you and your partner could interact within the group without any potential repercussion.
E.g. 1: You come out as gay/bisexual to your straight friends and present them your bf -> some of them become alienated by the fact while others simply realize they can't share as much as they did before because they think or know you can't relate as much with their straight male experience.

(Part 2)
Not to mention JEALOUSLY if more of your friends were to come out as gay and thus potentially also interested sexually or romantically in you.
E.g. 2 Some of your friends becoming catty bitches to your bf or feeling threatened that he'll take you away from him or them.

I've been straight all my life, but I cannot shake the feeling that what I'm really seeking is a more feminine guy who understands male interests and hobbies

Look, I understand how you feel. I'd love if that were common. But unless you have at least a degree of BISEXUAL tendencies, you simply won't be able to have sex with another male and feel content about it, LET ALONE date them seriously. And I say this as someone who fucks transwomen and enjoys doing SOME of the things I also do with my cis male friends.

I believe sexual/romantic relationships shouldn't be exactly the same nor should be behave as CARELESSLY as you do with your platonic friends.
With your buddies you can do and say pretty much anything without repercussion, but when you interact with a gf/bf/partner you totally HAVE to mind what you say and control your behavior so you don't make certain mistakes and become unattractive in their eyes as a result.
E.g. With your friends you can say all you want how X or Y are hot and would fuck them silly. You can't do that shit if you're in an even semi-serious relationship without causing an effect on the other person.

The problem is that I've never been in such circles and wouldn't know the first thing about how to start exploring this side of me. All I want atm is to see if I'd be compatible with someone of the same sex.

1) Try looking at gay AMATEUR porn and fap to it. No professional porn lighting, no pro make up or video filters, the raw thing.
If find it HOT then move to the next step

(Part 3)
2) Start looking around and search IRL for gay men (or transwomen, who more often than not also have nerd hobbies since they're male too) and take a good LOOK at them and see how they ACT and SOUND. You'll know pretty much instantly if you're sexually attracted to males or not.
Every male, both cis men and even the most convincing/passing transwomen, have certain instrinsic ways of behaving and moving that are unequivocally MALE, and your brain will SEE THAT and INTERPRET THEM AS MALE with laser sight accuracy.
And if you're still okay you can move to the next step
3) Try going on a date with a man or a transwoman. Yes, I mean a DATE, not matching on apps, since you're clearly looking for someone to have a relationship with that isn't purely sexual.

Any ideas?

See above. And/or ALTERNATIVELY, try dating FtMs, who are female and thus their body frames and intrinsic mannerisms will likely not make your brain feel against it in case you're indeed 100% straight.

Am I doomed?

No, but you have work to do.

P.S.
As a rule of thumb it's always better to compartmentalize your relationships, both romantic/sexual and platonic.
I.e. Have or partake in different social groups with different characteristics and goals and treat people according to how better relate to them on an INDIVIDUAL basis.
E.g. Have your nerd group of friends to talk about your obscure hobbies.
Go out and socialize with your other group of friends who're outgoing/relatively more normal.
Treat your boyfriend/girlfriend as your romantic/sexual partner and not like one your nerd or party buddies.

And sorry about the ESL grammar, I'm also drunk.

This is stupid, if you have to put on different personas around the person you're supposed to be closest to what the fuck is the point?

This is part of why i stopped trying to date women.

This is stupid, if you have to put on different personas around the person you're supposed to be closest to what the fuck is the point?

It's not stupid, it's how EVERYONE, and I mean it in a literal sense, behaves.

Everyone show only CERTAIN FACETS of their personality to different people and groups of people. And YES, that includes your sexual/romantic partner.
And the reason should be OBVIOUS to anyone who has ever had a relationship: You have to be ATTRACTIVE for your partner and avoid being or acting in an UNATRACTIVE manner.

E.g. You wouldn't fart in front of your girlfriend/boyfriend you just started dating a couple months ago if you can avoid it. You would act with 1000% more care and attention with your partner than if you were with your nerd buddies being slobs on the couch.
You wouldn't PUSH your partner into liking the same obscure stuff you enjoy if they clearly don't like it or enjoy it as much.
You WOULDN'T EXPECT your boyfriend/girlfriend to have an in-depth interest in the same political and philosophical shit that you like to read about, etc.

In the same way that it'd be UNREASONABLE for your partner to demand or expect YOU to become interested in ALL the same shit she/he likes, or TOLERATE that she/he does or acts like a slob like they do when they're alone in their house.

what the fuck is the point?

To have a GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND you can do GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND STUFF together instead of a slovenly nerd friend you fuck.

This is part of why i stopped trying to date women

Ok, try dating a man and acting in the same way you'd act when you're alone. See for yourself how long it lasts before one or both of you become utterly disgusted and emotionally drained by each other.

Yeah uhhhh suck a dick, and if you like it you’re gay. Sounds like a flawless plan to me.

I'd definitely be a top.

No I'm down with guys who have fucked men before (although there's no extra kinky appeal in that particular regard). But I'm under the impression OP has fucked nobody, male or female. That is unappealing.

am OP. Dated two women (physical) and had a few stands.