Be me

Question

Be me

be me

20s, gender dysphoria and agp but deep closet, nobody knows

gf is chill, normie tier but sweet, thinks I'm just a slightly depressed dude who likes anime

always kinda identified with Asuka's whole "angry insecure bitch trying too hard" vibe, resonates idk why

gf is out for the night with her friends

get the brilliant idea to finally try the Asuka cosplay I've been secretly hoarding parts for

cheap eva school uniform from aliexpress

wig that cost around $30

spend an hour trying to do makeup, with questionable success

whatever, put it all on

look in the mirror

look ok I guess for the first time cosplaying

but for like, 5 seconds, the brain static quiets down? Feel slightly less like crawling out of my skin

start doing dumb Asuka poses in the living room, whispering "anta baka" to the cat

feel kinda pathetic but also weirdly euphoric

hear keys in the lock

FUCK

gf wasn't supposed to be back for hours

no time to hide or change, just freeze like a moron in the middle of the room

door opens

gf walks in, phone in hand, mid-sentence saying "Yeah Sarah, I forgot my..."

sees me

me: standing there, 6'1", in cheap cosplay wig and makeup

her: ....

me: ....

her: "...Asuka?"

voice is super quiet and confused

haven't said a word since, she just grabbed a pillow and went to the couch like an hour ago

total radio silence

how do I even begin to explain this shit without outing myself completely or her thinking I'm just some degenerate weirdo (I mean, maybe I am?) did I just speedrun destroying my relationship over Shinji's angry gf? help Anon Babble please

just say you're interested in cosplay but you were embarrassed to do it in front of her

MisatoGODS send their regards

systematically lie to a loved one abut who you are

when cracks begin to show you're still worried about "not outing yourself" instead of the impact this is gonna have on your gf

you are a horrible person.
if you're too pussy to troon, that's fine, but dragging others down with you?
shame on you

lesson learned: never go cheap on your cosplay

misato>>>>rei>asuka

ohhh noo my boyfriend likes to dress up for fun, how terrible!

did I just speedrun destroying my relationship over Shinji's angry gf?

you didn't.
what you should do instead is tell her "I've realized I'm a faggot, and I don't want to waste your time. Sorry for not telling you earlier"

desu. he cant even convince her its an interest. the cheapest shit is just fetish shit

my boyfriend

who?
OP is a closeted troon faggot, he pretends to be a normal bf.
OP admits to being agp, so he has to imagine having a female body and being fucked by a man in order to get off

yeah that's why he'll keep lying to her and just say he likes dressing up. it's useful for his girlfriend too.

Good thread. Upvoted.

Tell her the truth. I'm genuinely curious where you were thinking this was headed before you got caught. Did you plan to get married, have kids, and keep this all to yourself for the rest of your life?

he still got a gf tho, he won

anime mentioned

You are not even a real tranny lol
Not reading the rest keep yourself safe?

asuka cosplay

stopped reading there, whatever the rest of the post says didnt happen

get her to dress like misato and molest you probably
hell id do that even if this wasnt the situation

dyshporia and AGP

Lay off the porn dude

Asuka was never Shinji's gf

Shinji is our bi KING

Shinji is incredibly bottom coded

The only Eva ship that matters

he won

this
kind of a hot LARP tho

God I hate closet cases. Troon like the rest of us or man uo I have this 'leading a double life so I can keep my gf' bullshit

You say "troon out" like it's easy and has no downsides. There are good reasons to repress, especially when you're AGP.

You know it's fake because the tranny in the story is 6'1. Sorry but there aren't that many people over 6 feet it's obviously a caricature the author was building and not a legitimate self description. Not all trannies are tall.

asuka cuc.k L

Wouls most straight men lose it and break up if they caught their otherwise straight functioning girlfriend cosplaying as a male character?

Probably not, but everyone knows AMAB people are held to much stricter gender conformity standards.

Average height for younger white males in many places is that. It's common in my country for example.

you say it like it's easy

No it's hard. I did it and it was hard. But you must do hard things to live. Get over yourself. Being a two timing lying to my woman transvestite is also hard and far more shameful. Grow up

repressing is

Op isn't repping if he's cross dressing in his god home lol

I wonder if this also fuels AGP. The more you think you absolutely can't do that something, the higher the desire for it and bigger reward when you indulge.

If OP isn't transitioning, he's repping. Simple as. It's not all or nothing.

no because that is (or at least was back in the day) pretty common. women wearing guy clothes is so much less stigmatized than guys wearing women clothes that it’s honestly insane.

Someone pls define the terms ropefuel and repfuel for me pls and ty

ropefuel = makes you wanna kill yourself (rope = noose)
repfuel = encourages you to repress gender dysphoria longer.

They seem like kinda the same thing? Like the stuff that triggers you to rope would also be the stuff that triggers you to rep.

imo
passing tranny = ropefuel
hon/nonpassing tranny = repfuel

If you're repping :
Passing tranny = ropefuel
Hon = repfuel

If you're early transition :
Passing tranny your age or older = hopefuel
Hons = ropefuel

If you're a hon :
Everything = ropefuel