Meet a boy online back in january

meet a boy online back in january

we met irl and have been going out for about 3 months, even spent valentine's together

we decide that it may be weird to date since we met on a hookup app (i think its selfish to ruin his chances of meeting more people, im ugly so it doesnt matter)

next date we lose our virginity

be last week we had the best weekend ever

i realize im really starting to like him and would like to confess but i really have to fight against my low self esteem to do it, whats the worst thing that could happen? be rejected?

be this friday

we're fucking

he asks me if i still think the same about not being romantically involved

i want to cry, he's going to confess to me aaaa

i tell him how i feel

he ignores my answer

he tells me he likes a girl from uni but he doesnt want to hurt my feelings and would like me to keep going out with him and be like his sugar mommy and buy him clothes and stuff

i cant understand

we continue fucking

i start remembering all the awful things my ex used to tell me while he raped me, like how pussy felt so much better than me, or how he would call me other girls names while raping me

i remember how every person i have liked told me they would never date a tranny or even go out with one

we continue fucking

he takes a shower

we walk to his place, i start crying

he doesnt care and leave

i feel im overreacting because of past traumas also im bpd so dealing with this kind of stuff is awful. he isnt really bad as im greentexting, he's just dumb and chose the wrong words and moment but i cant not blame him for this
i really wish somebody could ever hug me

kek you got what you deserve for being such a retard

i guess so, i never had a chance to be with somebody like him

damaged goods.

i often wonder if its too late for me to try to be happy, i actually gave up some time ago until i accidentally met him and thought i could use some nice time together, just wasnt expecting it to be so short and abrupt

im really sorry, im a guy and i wish i can hug you, you don't deserve to be treated like this

that's rough, sorry

whats even more sad is that since im bpd and i act irrationally dumb, i dont want things fixed, i just want to feel sad and be right about not being worth as a human being.
Im also too ashamed to be his friends after things got this confusing, i dont want to feel like a cuck or friendzoned, so i want to tell him i rather not meet anymore with him.
i know he wants to help but he dont understand how bad it felt to me

he's abusive, ghost him
you can find someone who loves you

Have you considered trying dating Black men instead?

those are old pics, my bangs are long enough to hide my eyes now, also i got bigger glasses. but whatever

i try to look good but i dont think its good enough

You are cute thats not your issue, dude is retarded for dropping that mid fuck and you are a retard for saying you don't want a relationship of the bat when you clearly do. Don't fuck around with this weird sugar relationship you deserve better.

You are cute thats not your issue

i know you're trying to help, but am i really cute and likeable if nobody likes me?
i know i made a mistake, but he's so much younger than me, he shouldnt date an old tranny like me, and i was okay with not dating him BUT the way things happend its just the worst possible outcome, I feel humilliated instead of just rejected.

How old are you? And you lost your virginity to him?

this is dumb, im in my 30s
i lost my virginity in an awful abusive relationship almost 10 years ago, i regret every single thing that happend in that relationship so i try to forget that. I havent had sex since then
This was my first time feeling sure and it was his first time too. Later I told him it wasnt actually my first time since I was kind of raped in my previous relationship (which i didnt told him about either), he was okay with it but seems to not understand the seriousness of what i was telling

Yes you are cute i don't know about likeable because that is a personality question. Transwomen are going to have difficulty seeking out straight relationships and you are clearly quite inexperienced in the dating department plus your self esteem is in the dumps, that is more the issue with you not having a partner. The only advice I'd have is focus more on building a social circle than looking for a romantic partner explicitly, normie relationships tend to result from your social circle and there will be more incentive for it to not be some weird sugarbaby thing that a lot of internet relationships turn into.

The only advice I'd have is focus more on building a social circle than looking for a romantic partner explicitly

i have tons of social circles, im very social but i lack a romantic life. I usually lie to my friends about going out on dates and having hookups
but we all know that the dating pool for somebody in their 30s is awful, not even mention being trans

Can you repost the pics I wanna see them now too

unsee cc/album#NC5YzMwoTUVV
these are the same pics, they are kinda outdated i probably took them a year ago

You look pretty! Though I am a fan of the bangs + glasses combo on girls.

I want to stuff you

why do straight girls tolorate this garbage?

tolorate

God you are so beautiful it makes me sad and depressed...

im not straight tho, and the guy in the greentext is a twink/femboy so it isnt the straightest relationship either. I guess we're both bi

sorry

wait he's a femboy? nevermind he's totally justified

Do you have twitter or insta or something? I have a crush on you.

yea, thats why i think he's in his right to be a slut, i shouldnt try to stop it just because im old and want to settle

no, im a boomer, i have a boring twitter for work stuff

Any other kind of contact then? I want to talk with you...

what for?

I don't know. I just feel like talking to a pretty girl, I guess.

drop yours. dont expect anything.

Oh, what platform?

discord

seager57

It makes sense why OP thinks she's dating a man but it's just a bratty child

i have never call him a man, he's clearly just a boy, a kid, a child, and a bratty one, and probably also a slut

im gonna go to bed, im too drunk

this never happened

tolerate

They actively choose it.
OP is crying that she got exactly what she signed up for when she started the relationship.
To use the mother of all sophisticated arguments, the food analogy, this is like walking into a pizza place and then complaining bout how there's mozarella and tomato sauce instead of like, icecream and french pastry.
I blame tiktok or romance novels or whatever. Women will dive headfirst into a relationship explicitly labeled as "THIS IS NOT WHAT YOU WANT" with a delusion that it will magically transform into what they want because reasons. Literally just do anything but that and you'll get a better outcome.

I wasn't expecting to get in a relationship, im frustrated about him using the wrong words hyping me and then just treating me like an object not caring about my feelings

I wasn't expecting to get in a relationship,

Fuckbuddy is a type of relationship anonette. The type you signed up for. Where you tend to get treated like a sex object. You got what you ordered, and you're whining at the ubereats driver for drawing a cute little heart on the bag.