Guys...

Question

Guys...

guys.. i'm a stealth post op who got drugged and raped and when i came to Anon Babble to talk about it found out it was gone. idk what to do obviously i can't tell anyone what happened but i feel so bad about what happened i cry every day. i literally think i'm going to detransition over this but it seems so stupid i was done..enough that a fucking straight guy raped me..and now it's all over.

i probably didn't even say no since i was drugged (maybe..idk i didn't see it).. and it's all my fault i went out that night. i don't even know if it happened really since the memory is all gone. my friends don't understand why i'm so distant and i think my bf is gone since i'm refusing to talk to him (idk how to tell him).

and if i google it i either get
1. stuff intended for cis woman: it's so horrible but everyone will be nice about it and you need medical attention and the police (i got laughed at by my doctor..i don't think he believes my vagina is capable of sex)
2. stuff intended for trans women: you're a type of gay man followed by a bunch of stuff that just doesn't apply to me (like that it was anal)
3. trans women are rapists: are we sure it's not your fault somehow..after all you tricked him

i’m sorry :(

i feel sorry for you, honestly the best thing you can try to do is get therapy here (although to be honest with you it's difficult to find a good therapist, most are full of shit).

but don't detransition if you can be stealth, just know that this wasn't your fault and it wasn't fair that happened to you. probably best to try to talk to your boyfriend about this too, i know it's difficult but you need a support system here trust me (make sure to tell him that's why you weren't talking to him)

also if your doctor genuinely believes that then he's full of shit, get a new one.

hmu babygirl, I wanna try some of that cis man post-op pussy.

Your cock is gone, what's left to detransition into?

if it's any consolation, even if you did everything right, the chance that he would ever get punished are less than 5%.
but regardless i'm so so sorry.

idk i cancelled therapy because i didn't think i could tell her. also i'm scared of what happens if somebody reports it to the police
i didn't even get to talk to my doctor it was just the receptionist who refused to schedule me for std test..but he's always been suspect on vagina stuff. i've looked and looked everybody loses their head when they find out
i don't want my bf to know but i also can't have sex since i'm tainted so it's just like...best to break up. i don't think i'm ever going to have sex again.
gross
if i was a man i wouldn't have gotten raped.
yeah i know...he did a wonderful job creating a situation where he's guaranteed to get away. i'm worried about stds obviously but he probably used a condom. no leakage the next day..and obviously he doesn't want me to have evidence and wouldn't know i can't get pregnant. and i don't even remember and doubt myself sometimes if it even happened.
and all that's true even if i were cis but i know i'm not and therefore i don't deserve sympathy i deserve derision for having the misfortune to get raped (i.e. trick an innocent guy into getting so horny he had to have sex with my artificial hole)

please reconsider telling your therapist, it may actually help. also she can't actually tell anyone because it has to stay confidential
why don't you want to tell your boybriend? please know that you shouldn't be ashamed, what happened to you is absolutely horrible and it's not your fault. you deserve sympathy, you did nothing wrong and didn't "trick" anyone <3

Why are you going to detransition? because you don’t want to get raped ahsin?

i think she might be able to tell the police if it's about a crime. not sure raping a trans woman is a crime lol but she'll think it is and not stop to think how poorly having the police show up at my doorstep will go for me.
i also really don't need this story getting out.. like at work it would be horrible if people knew. and i don't want to ruin the career and marriage of the guy who did it.
i basically cheated on my bf since i had sex so i feel really bad. he doesn't need to have to deal with someone like me
that and like it's really eye opening how people think i'm a man when i seek support for this and i'm just done fighting it. i think if i look like a guy i won't get raped.. but my friends have seen me trying to dress as a guy and say it doesn't work so idk.

raping a woman is definitely a crime. either way, she can only tell police if you're planning to do something that might risk someone's life, like if you tell her you plan to kill someone or smth like that.
also no you didn't cheat on your boyfriend, being raped is not cheating, you were abused. you did nothing wrong.

I’m so sorry you went through this but detransitioning won’t fix this men can be vile I don’t pass well and I’ve still been the victim of SA. we all have to be vigilant in this day and age carry mace or weapon stay with friends and watch each others backs. It’s a dangerous world for us women we have to stick together have a friend be your landline in case of emergency.

Welcome to womanhood

the police wouldn't consider me a woman so arguments like that don't really matter.
idk i know intellectually it's not cheating but i don't consider myself abused or anything..it's just something that happened.. and like whether it's my fault or not (and i went to the bar so it kind of is) i'm still tainted by the experience and shouldn't be forcing it on someone else. he can find a new girl
i wouldn't want to have a weapon i don't want to hurt anyone
and my friend got raped too so that didn't work
i guess you're right even if i am a man i could be raped but idk if i would have been in that specific situation

Nona, at least tell your bf and lean on him for support.
You don’t got to go to these other people who view you as a man, but don’t let this destroy you either.
The sad reality is woman have to be cautious of stuff like this and stay safe, but don’t abandon your womanhood because of it!

and i don't want to ruin the career and marriage of the guy who did it.

oh but he has the right to destroy your life and leave permanent scars in your mind???
he deserves hell and worse, please, fuckin destroy him at least publically, he doesn't deserve compassion or love, he's a fucking animal that should be castrated

you got DRUGED, aka FORCED into unwanted sex, please, don't shut up about this, that is what that bastard would want you to do, be brave, even if you're trans I'm sure you'll be supported by other women that have suffered the same, you don't even have to mention that you're trans, y'know....

stay safe... and please, please, please, seek help, tell your boyfriend and fucking murder the troglodyte that did this to you

Don’t listen to you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.

also like.. a nonpassing trans woman is very obviously someone who can be raped since she'll never be taken seriously. i guess i passed or maybe they came after me since i was trans (but my friend wasn't) so idk.
but a man doesn't have a vagina (okay i'm stuck with one but i won't tell people that) and is taken seriously by the people around him always. women are treated like children and trans women are treated worse.
so maybe it would help
idk why he did it. maybe he thought we wanted it since we were talking in the bar. i don't even know if it happened since i lost memory. other women would only support me until they find out what i am and then it's over..that's how it always works for us.
i know everyone has instructions for what to do and it makes me feel so bad.
like i'm sorry i didn't feel like having the police poke and prod at me to collect absolutely nothing the day after being fucking raped..before being arrested myself for having the temerity to be a woman in a state where it's illegal
and even if not the publicize it and i become the man who got raped and it ruins my life not his.

oh i didn't get this one
i'm not even a woman is the thing. like i thought i was but the response makes it pretty clear i'm not to be considered one by people. and if i'm just pretending it seems natural to stop that. especially since it would protect me in the future

if you try to detrans, you're going to become severely depressed and start questioning why you'd bother when you can never go back to really being a man anyways. you're post op so you'd have to take test to detrans at this point as well, so you're better off just sticking with what you've already been committed to

well i'm mostly off hrt (i lowered my dose but it'll run out eventually) since it's not legal in this state anymore but i'm not taking testosterone. i'd be disgusted how easy it is to get probably. it'll just be social detransition. the bigger problem is everyone thinks i'm a woman and when i dress as a man they don't notice until i say something and then they laugh and say iwnbam. which means people still see me and maybe want to rape me and i feel so unsafe.
i already cry every day so i don't see how detrans can make it any worse.

you should just get diy. it's cheap and not difficult. you don't want to have no sex hormone because that'll lower your overall health quality, bone density, etc.

which means people still see me and maybe want to rape me and i feel so unsafe.

actual women feel this way and there's a sizeable portion of rape victims who go butch theyfab or ftm to try to escape it. this is not a good strategy for dealing with that trauma, and you need to figure out how to cope or get professional help to deal with it because you're never going to get over it by running from it this way

Schedule another std test w different doctor reschedule therapy it proccess it and really get though it. Its going to be really hard and stick w you for a long time and you need the support. And pls tell your boyfriend it was not your fault. You did nothing wrong.

they don't care if i don't have hormones and they don't care if i have stds as soon as it comes out that i have a neovagina i get stonewalled. even the "supportive" "allies" do it.. they support my pronoun not that i'm functionally female now.
i don't want to tell my bf because i do consider it my fault and all these other crazy things i've said here and i'm scared i'll tell him all that and he'll forever see me as this crazy girl.. or this raped damaged girl.

they don't care if i don't have hormones

just buy them off the internet

i don't want to tell my bf

you should just tell him because you're killing your relationship anyways by not talking to him. if he sees you as damaged and not worth it then nothing changes, or he's supportive and things get better.

i mean you're right about my bf but i just don't like the idea of people seeing me as the girl who got raped

what a tragedy, a totally good reason to detroon. i'd rather be drugged and raped than brutally beaten and disfigured just because i'm a moid (statistically much more likely to happen to them than to women)

Wow. I do not feel any empathy at all.

Wait… you know the guy who did it?

And you feel tainted like u cheated on ur bc?

i know you were traumatised and it's very hard to process that right now, i also understand that it may be difficult to get a doctor who will take you seriously. but trust me, this is fucked up and it is not your fault
dealing with fear from being raped is a thing all cis women deal with. i know you feel broken inside and like you won't ever be able to recover from this, but trust me, you are not who's at fault here.
go to another doctor's clinic, but don't tell them you're trans. have them perform an std test just asif, they don't need to know that your vagina is the result of srs.
get therapy. please. you've clearly been very affected by this. it may take trying a few therapists but please just trust me and do it.
tell your bf. don't tell him you "cheated on him" or any of that bs. you were abused. you don't deserve pain for this, you deserve support. by not talking to your boyfriend you're not only missing out on support but killing your relationship. please just tell him.
don't detransition. it will not help, it will only make you feel more worthless inside. this was not your fault. you are still a woman and i can promise you detransing will not help.

go kys you fucking shithead.

you don’t remember it… how do you know it even happened?

Like how do you know you were raped? I thought I was raped once cause I blacked out and then I had my pants off and he did too… but I don’t remember it well. I just told myself that since I don’t remember it it didn’t happen. Somehow avoided most of the trauma… and desu. I actually DONT know if it happened. How can you be so sure you were raped?

also don't listen to he's just a retarded moid.

shit i'm retarded, wrong link, i meant to say , sorry i'm severely sleep deprived

because? i just state the truth. worse things could happen to you as a moid, but the society is deficient in empathy towards moids and can't recognize it. stop ruining your life.

the op got abused, and is severely traumatised. detransing here is not the answer here, it will only bring her severe amounts of pain and make her suicidal. but you don't know that, because you've never suffered from dysphoria. fucking moids.

lol, i'm saying NOT to detroon the whole time, i'm reminding it wouldn't even make sense if dysphoria was taken out of equation

I'm feel bad for you, unfortunately I am a rare empathetic person. However these posts are so fucking dumb because it's always the same retarded shit.

It was my fault

Did you rape yourself? Obv it wasn't your fault retard

I feel like I cheated

Did you choose it? Obv you didn't cheat retard

Should I even report it?

Obviously you should retard.

Everything you could possibly say that isn't said a million times and isn't pure retardation won't be solved by internet loser, and can only be potentially solved by therapy. Shit like feeling unclean

a totally good reason to detroon

are you retarded or is it me.

op is in severe distress and very traumatised, what you're saying is "right" but you should be more gentle and not call her a retard, she's just been raped. the actual retard is you here.

that was irony, maybe not obvious enough despite the further context.

Yeah maybe you'll get laid and have a family.

Go back to plebbit
Op, you were at the bar, without your boyfriend and flirting with a man. What did you expect to happen? You went there wanting something… he just took what was offered to him. Ya. Your a cheating whore.

You know what? The best you can do now at least is find the guy who raped you and suck his smelly rapist cock. Take a pic and send it to his wife then at least you can cuck her, ruin his marriage and maybe get a boyfriend out of it or get raped again

Go back to plebbit

lmao is that the best you've got. fucking weak.

Op, you were at the bar, without your boyfriend and flirting with a man. What did you expect to happen? You went there wanting something… he just took what was offered to him. Ya. Your a cheating whore.

You know what? The best you can do now at least is find the guy who raped you and suck his smelly rapist cock. Take a pic and send it to his wife then at least you can cuck her, ruin his marriage and maybe get a boyfriend out of it or get raped again

op do not listen to this moron, he's a deranged moid. he's saying this to get you to feel bad, honestly this is probably a psyop. don't listen to him, he's a no-lifer ion his parents' basement.