Alright, let's get this over with, for privacy reasons this should be my last update.
I'm not upset and didn't feel the need to share, but I wanted to give an update since I thought it would be healthy to tell somebody.
Nearly a week ago I fucked my brother, twice. It wasn't healthy, it wasn't right, and some things have happened since.
First up, we talked it out, no more sex and no more groping. It wasn't very good for my mental health, and I don't enjoy it all that much for now anyway.
Secondly, we decided that we would pursue a relationship, we are siblings and at the end of the day we love eachother in a lot of confusing ways. I don't want to lose my brother to this, but having him in a different way sounds comforting.
yesterday reconciled, cuddled, and fell asleep together. I felt comfortable and whole as a person and we just talked like normal. I want to be with him and I don't want to ignore or deny myself that.
I want to pursue this relationship in a healthy way, and though it may not be perfect, or magical, or always comfortable we will make it work. We've sworn off most sexual stuff for the time being until we're ready to revisit that and unpack the new trauma there, and are sticking to more familial ways of bonding.
Thank you all for your support, goodbye for now.